Friday, May 29, 2009

More on string-instrument porn and some random pictures from the vault of Lemish

Three people have found my blog by searching for "ukulele porn." To those three people I apologize for not having a greater selection of ukulele porn included in my blog. I did my best by making a plea to the porno industry that they merge these two great arts into one supreme masterpiece; I cannot be faulted that they did not heed my call. They, like so many before them, lack the vision that we, The Enlightened Ukulele Porn Lovers, share.

Oh, here are some unused pictures that I have saved because I thought I might use them someday but never did. Unrelated to ukulele porn, but still equally as pointless possibly interesting:

For an unpublished post about the dangers of flying penises. An update to
my mom's crazy warnings.

This was for a time when I saw a guy with no arms and legs being pulled on a skateboard by a dog. The problem with that post was that there was really no place to go from there. My post would have been one sentence: "Holy shit! I just saw some guy with no arms and legs being pulled on a skateboard by a dog!" Okay, I guess that was technically two sentences. But Jesus Christ, quit being so picky. The dude had NO ARMS AND LEGS. He can't be expected to be perfect! Give him his damn two sentences and shut up about it!
This is a man smoking a tiny pipe. That's all I have to say about that.

Here is a cute parasitic worm. I love parasites. Not in the way that I would personally want one, but I love to hear other people's stories about their parasites and how gross they are. One of my favorite pastimes is watching youtube videos of people removing botfly larva from their bodies. I totally don't watch videos about them or anything though. What kind of sick person would do that!?!? Sick fucks, that's who. (I named him Chester.)


Here is a picture of my friend Katrina playing the world's largest tuba. I think this was for a plan I had about creating a marching band where everyone carried huge instruments. I still might put this plan into action, so nobody steal it because I'm pretty sure it's awesome.


I forgot to post this for a special Christmas greeting.


My head on The Last Unicorn's body. This was just for my personal use.


5 comments:

Heidi M. said...

I have seen many of the botfly larvae removal videos. Quite disturbing! Ick.

HannahBanana said...

I like how your blog spans emotions: flying penis hat: hilarious. Man being pulled by dog: sad. Chester the internal parasite: kinda confusing, but sorta sweet in the way that he looks like my Uncle Stanley. Way to be! Also, ummm, do you know where he got that hat? There's a PTA meeting coming up, and I'd love to wear the fashion piece of the season.

HannahBanana said...

Are we aware that it has been approx. 9 days since you've posted? Some of us need our ukelele/Jesus porn!

Lemish said...

Yes! The past week has been a void of unentertaining happenings. Hopefully someone will do something crazy in front of me today to inspire me.

HannahBanana said...

Nothing interesting happen yet?